The Longest Story Ever by Andrew Wooding - Day #2

(You can join this epic story at any time, but have fun browsing the archives if you want to dip into past instalments or even start from the beginning. Feel free to leave your comments as well. Cartoons by Mychailo Kazybrid.)


Yesterday, we read that Charlie the Dog’s maid Ethel was hunting him down in his house. Had he done something wrong? No, he was hiding from her because Ethel wanted to feed him some breakfast.

This doesn’t sound so bad till you realise that Ethel’s breakfasts were in the Guinness Book of Records for scoring higher than one-thousand on the GAS scale. (GAS stood for Gastronomically Awful Smells.) No one had beaten this record and no one ever would. If there was a scale for horrible tastes, she would be in the Guinness Book of Records for that as well.

‘Sir! Sir! Where are you, sir?’ she yelled. ‘Breakfast is ready and you can’t go to work on an empty stomach!’

Ethel was right. And it was unfortunate for Charlie that empty stomachs belonging to starving poodles sometimes groan really loudly.

Groan!

‘What was that?’ said Ethel.

'That' was Charlie's stomach, of course, and it was obvious where the sound had come from.

'Gotcha!' said Ethel, and she rummaged around inside the laundry basket.

'Oh no,' said Charlie. 'She's found me.'

It said a lot that Charlie was prepared to hide at the bottom of a pile of sweaty towels and grime-stained clothes rather than eat one of Ethel's breakfasts.

Tossing the laundry to one side, Ethel said to the cowering figure at the bottom of the basket: 'What are you doing hiding at the bottom of the laundry basket again?'

'I … er … I was trying to find some missing socks,' explained Charlie.

'Funny, sir,' said Ethel, who sounded suspicious. 'That's what you were doing in there last time. And the time before, and the other 26 times as well.'

'Well, I've got an awful lot of missing socks, you know.'

And Charlie would have to do an awful lot of thinking to avoid eating Ethel's horrible breakfast. To find out if he succeeds, read tomorrow's exciting instalment.


Today’s total: 320 words (Total so far: 629 words)